You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
