yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
