can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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