Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
