Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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