drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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