In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
