You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
