I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
