Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
