the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
