I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
