Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Houston, we have a blender
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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