Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
