Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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