If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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