I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Still dying that you shit outside
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
