I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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