OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
