I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
