I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize