Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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