I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
