I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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