T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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