Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
