Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
