no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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