Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
