when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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