Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
