Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
