Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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