i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
