Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
