I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it because I queefed?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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