i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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