So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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