Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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