So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize