This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i've created a new STD.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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