sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
