How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
