This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize