She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
