are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
