ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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