haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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