How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
