He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
