I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize