Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
