she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
