Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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