Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
