dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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