capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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