Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
