Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
