I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
