what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
