After last night, I could never be a politician.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
