I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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