this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
