its not stalking. its research.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
