Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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