I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
