Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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