that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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