Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize