Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
