You work out of a Hotel?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
