Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
