don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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