You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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