the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
